Some Thoughts On Losing A Parent
I lost my dad David Cohen shortly after midnight on October 3rd. He was 87 and was married to my mom Sylvia for over 62 years. He was a great man and a great dad.
My parents Dave and Sylvia Cohen on their 60th anniversary
I haven’t written anything here on the M10 Blog for over 3 months which isn’t like me, and the first two of those 3 months were before my dad passed. I can’t really explain why - writer’s block is usually not a problem for me, but I also don’t love the idea of having to manufacture something to say for the sake of writing something. I usually have plenty to say without doing that.
Would something have come to mind like it usually does if my dad hadn’t passed? I think so, but for now it’s even less likely in terms of anything business or social media related. There’s plenty to talk about - “Meta”, NFTs, changes to Instagram etc… but I kinda don’t care at the moment. I mean I’ve followed most of it, but I’m just not motivated to prepare something about it here.
I’m back to doing my job and doing it well now after taking a week to process and grieve, to sit shiva and be with family. But for the moment my job still feels like doing a job a little bit. It hadn’t felt that way for probably 13 years, but I’ve never grieved like this. It’s hard to have sustained “fun”. There’s a big hole in my heart and as much as I’ve always tried to have empathy and understanding for people who have lost a parent, you can’t know what it’s like until you lose one of yours.
My dad’s health hasn’t been perfect for a while, and over the last few months it was a little worse. The day he died was a bit of a shock because there was no reason to think it was quite that imminent. As he declined I kind of found myself negotiating for more time - years even. Like I knew this would happen someday but I didn’t have to really address it yet. They were finally starting him on oxygen and that would make him better. It was still something that happened to other people somehow - not me. Not us. Not now.
Ally and I had a road trip planned to New York to see our daughter Lacey who is living in Brooklyn and attending graduate school. Lacey was in town for the week for the funeral and we had planned on driving to NY in what would be only a week after she went back. We decided to do it anyway. I made my dad a part of that trip.
I put on Neil Diamond’s Hot August Night which always made me think of my dad. I remember listening to it on 8-track in the car when I was little and I can still hear him clearly in my head singing the “dee da lee dee dee dee dee dee dee deedle a lee doo” from Crunchy Granola Suite. We put it on and the sun came through a long rip in the clouds with an unusually long row of the most gorgeous sun rays shining through that you’ve ever seen, and I lost it. He was with me.
While we were in Brooklyn this time we made a couple pilgrimages you might say. You see, my dad was a New Yorker. My brothers were born in Far Rockaway but they moved to the Detroit suburbs in 1967 three years before I was born. My dad took himself out of New York but no one would ever take the New Yorker out of my dad, and he never stopped talking about his beloved Brooklyn Dodgers whom he used to go see growing up at Ebbets Field. There is an actual brick from Ebbets Field framed with a painting of the ballpark on the wall at my parents’ apartment. So after visiting New York dozens and dozens of times throughout my life this time I wanted to go to that spot that meant so much to him, and I did. I stood at home plate - it’s still there. I know my dad would think that was pretty cool.
This post wasn’t planned. I sat down to write something and this is what came out. I could go into more detail about my dad and his life but for now I think I’m good. I’ll leave you with the photos from Ebbets Field, and a thank you for reading if you’re still here.
Peace and love.
Doug
M10 Social is owned by Doug Cohen in West Bloomfield, MI and provides social media training and digital marketing services from the Frameable Faces Photography studio Doug owns with his wife Ally. He can be reached there at tel:248-790-7317, by mobile at tel:248-346-4121 or via email at mailto:doug@frameablefaces.com.
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