How To Keep Imposter Syndrome From Getting In Your Way
Have you heard of imposter syndrome? Do you get it sometimes? It’s okay to admit it if you do - I will. It still happens to me once in a while! Let’s dig into this a little bit…
If you never have an ounce of self doubt, if you never get butterflies before a game or just slightly nervous right before you press the live button on a livestream then you probably aren’t taking it seriously, and/or your overconfidence may play as a lack of self-awareness that isn’t appealing. But those nerves are healthy - they provide motivation and keep you focused and sharp!
Confidence is appealing. Overconfidence is not.
What Is Imposter Syndrome?
Those who are in the confident but not overconfident, strong-and-humble not insecure-and-arrogant category are willing to learn from others. I love to learn from others and I’m not threatened by someone who knows more than me. Okay, usually I’m not…. But once in a while you may come across someone who appears to know way more than you, and then the slightest bit of self doubt can creep in. A little voice inside your head may say “Who am I kidding? I’m nowhere close to this person…” You start to feel a little like a fraud, a fake expert - an imposter. That’s imposter syndrome.
There are those who say one way to overcome this is to “fake it ‘til you make it” and just act like you know what you’re doing even if there may be some gaps in your knowledge. I get that to a degree. You don’t want to look like you don’t believe in your abilities and you gotta start somewhere. Projecting some confidence when you aren’t completely confident isn’t a crime.
But there’s a line you just can’t cross in that approach. You can’t flat out lie. You can’t say yes you have a skill set that you don’t.
If you fear you’re about to get exposed on a weakness in your game, or knowledge you don’t have…….SO WHAT. That’s right. SO. FREAKING. WHAT. Now granted if you’re trying to pass yourself off as a social media manager who doesn’t know the difference between a personal Facebook profile and a Facebook Business Page then yes, you should worry - because you are indeed flat out lying about being a social media manager and deserve to get exposed. But here’s where it gets interesting with two recent examples:
Example #1: I met a guy recently who owns an Internet Marketing and web design company and we were just talking shop. His company is well established, he has a number of employees and he’s knowledgeable about many aspects that are outside of my skill set. For starters I designed this website on Squarespace but I’m not a web designer by trade by any stretch and I don’t really want to be. I also am not the strongest when it comes to SEO analytics. Now I can speak somewhat intelligently on these things, but my real strength is in content creation and building community on social and I’m a pretty darn good writer in my humble opinion - which led him to offer up the fact that this is probably their weakness as a company. The slight pang of inadequacy as a digital marketer at the beginning of our conversation melted away! For a minute I was focused on how my own little boutique shop doesn’t do all the things his company does with web design and advertising metrics. But that was silly because my strengths go beyond theirs in social media and building community organically. Just different core competencies. Both what they do and what I do are legit pieces of the overall online puzzle.
Example #2: I was referred to another web designer who specifically was looking for someone who could handle social media for their clients since they were having trouble identifying a good partner they could refer to with trust. I replied to an email from them with an outline of how I approach the business and the services I provide for my clients. They responded very favorably and were impressed with my website and the press & appearances page in particular. Then they asked me do I by chance do Google Adwords?
I don’t.
Here was the first part of my reply:
I was honest. It’s not my strength. And that’s okay! Here’s a bit from the response they sent back to me:
Just be honest and confident in your answer, because that’s what people are looking for, and no one knows it all anyway.
Take movies and music for example. There are more movies and/or music that has been released and recorded than there are available waking hours in a human’s lifetime. No one has seen or heard it all - it’s actually impossible. No one knows everything. Same way with the Internet. There is a ridiculous amount of moving parts on multiple platforms that change every single day. It’s impossible to be an expert in all of it at all times. Just cannot be done. If you’ve gone about your trade honestly and you’ve worked hard and people are coming to you for your expertise then you’ve got something, and be proud of that! Be confident, and do NOT be afraid to admit if there is something you don’t know. Odds are if you don’t know it someone else won’t either, and you can find out if you need to.
Learning and growing is part of life - it does NOT make you an imposter because you haven’t learned it all. Those you are comparing yourself to haven’t either - if they act like they have then THEY are most likely the imposter!
M10 Social is owned by Doug Cohen in West Bloomfield, MI and provides social media training and digital marketing services from the Frameable Faces Photography studio Doug owns with his wife Ally. He can be reached there at tel:248-790-7317, by mobile at tel:248-346-4121 or via email at mailto:doug@frameablefaces.com.
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